7 Ways You Betray Your Success
We all do this. The world wasn’t a pedestal set up for you to magically make your way to the top while ridding a winged unicorn over a rainbow. Unless magic is how you define courage. The possibilities of how you get in your own way are endless, but the further you go in your pursuit of health, wealth, and relationships within your time that you have here in this life…they could be endless. Literally, there could be endless possibility and potential to what you have created and can create in the future. Regardless of how you look at it or what you find yourself capable of…you’re going to have to get out of your own way. Here are 7 betrayals you’ll want to acknowledge, confront, and challenge.
You aren’t a member of Grit Gym. Not kidding, and here is why.
Health is the number one resource in life. Literally, you cannot enjoy your time, wealth or relationships without your health. Ask Steve Jobs or anyone else that made billions of dollars if they’d trade every penny and asset they have/had for their health. What do you think they’d say?
Proximity to power
Weird things happen when you are around others playing the game at your level, going through all the pitfalls, obstacles and tribulations you are. And especially when you’re around others playing at a level far beyond where you currently are and where you have set your mind to comprehend. You end up raising your level of awareness, your belief in yourself, and your ability to succeed.
Money invested creates action
Remember this is the absolute most important resource in life. It is worth every single dollar you have. You will be able to make more money because you have more energy, and are around better people who are also like minded in their pursuit. You’ll be able to have more time and be all in with those you care about while you are with them. You’ll have better relationships. Better romantic moments with the romantic relationship/s. And better use of time.
People think that the bill is for the business at Grit. The investment is for the client. We could probably charge much more, and we could charge much less. The amount of money we charge is such an incredible low figure next to what you get that it is laughable to say it’s expensive. The more you put down, the more action you will take. The investment is in you, which is the absolute best investment you can make. An investment in you doesn’t depreciate. It cannot be taken away. It is an ever growing asset
You put the money down to make yourself take massive action. I used to give training away for free when I first started, just to try and get people to see what level I was operating at and then they’d tell all their friends right? Wrong. It was ‘free’ and therefore, no value. No one even showed up. When I started saying my expertise was worth $x…they invested their dollars and with those dollars they also invested their time, their efforts, their focus and their energy. The investment is not near as valuable for our business as it is for our clients.
2. What do you believe you are?
The winner can still win at showing the world what a loser they believe they are. Get what I mean?
I know a guy that is real good looking, great with people, charismatic, very smart, very good athlete. You know, just kind of always lands on top. Except that he thinks he’s a loser. So what’s he do? He goes out and proves it by selling drugs and getting caught with enough to put himself away for a couple decades. He’s from an affluent family, and has all this going for him. What’s the deal? In his mind, he believes he’s a loser. He’s actually a winner, but wins at showing the world what a loser he is. He doesn’t know that, doesn’t have a clue, and is bound to repeat his actions over and over until he confronts and challenges this belief.
Let’s say you’re a winner and believe yourself to be the fat girl. If you lost a bunch of fat you’d have sabotaging your own beliefs about yourself. Because in your mind, you’re the “fat girl”. You’ll prove yourself correct by staying or getting fat.
Let’s say you don’t think you deserve to be in good shape. What do you suppose would happen? You probably find ways to sabotage your own health. Live with constant stress, stress eat, bring stress into a relationship to cause more stress, create some cheep drama to get more stress, get a tobacco addiction to try to calm the stress that your subconscious actually desires, feel guilty about the tobacco in order to get some more stress, start practicing quoting over and over because you don’t actually want to stop the habit, more guilt and more stress. See what I mean? It’s a vicious cycle. All because of what you believe yourself to be, and validate with the story you create in your own life all to give yourself what you think you deserve. Makes a lot of sense right?
Reality can be a harsh territory, but further you go, the stronger you get, and the better everything EVERYTHING gets.
What you believe yourself to be is most likely to be the outcome of the life you create. You will create a story in reality to validate an inner ‘truth’.
3. Fear of not being enough
Oh, so you didn’t live up to or pull off what everyone wanted you to do so you feel guilty? What, like you were somehow supposed to be perfect?
Anger is a way to create psychological distance. You’re afraid of anyone seeing that you are afraid so you get made to create distance. They get scared of your aggression and back off but it usually gives the opposite of the desired affect.
Funny thing is the denial of anger being fear. It’s been practiced so regularly that you don’t even have to justify it anymore. It is so ’true’ to most that we accept it. When really, we should laugh at it. No different than you’d laugh at a 3year old reenacting their parents temper tantrum. Because really…that’s all it really is, just with much more practice and expertise.
Anxiety is forgetting how to do what you know how to do. You get scared your not enough and prove it by forgetting how to do what you know how to do. You know how to talk, why can’t you make words in front of the girl/guy you like? Why would an at bat change for a baseball player? He’s taken thousands upon thousands of swings in his life, why does he all the sudden forget how to swing on a 3:2 count? He forgot how to do what he knows how to do.
Perfect is you setting yourself up for losing. How are you going to do better than your best? You only get your absolute best and your absolute best has to be enough because that is all you have but you have to bring it all.
Fear isn’t reasonable. And in many ways it’s just a silly excuse to remove yourself from the duty and responsibility you have to yourself and those you care about. Get up, face it, confront that shit, challenge it, learn, and move on.
Falling to fear is an error.
What do you do when you make an error?
Move on, it’s not serving you or anyone else to carry that error around with you for life.
Learn as much as possible
Here’s a little secret…There are 100% bullshit
Everything you’ve ever used to stay blind and exclusive from your desire…is an excuse.
You are more committed to staying the same than you are to where you want to be.
This is futile. Change is constant. You, me and everything else are constantly changing. You are now 3s older than you were 3s ago. Rocks have eroded, wind has blown, the weather has changed, your body has shifted…all within that 3s. You don’t get to not change. So accept it and get committed.
If I’m going to change, if it’s inevitable, then I want to decide on the change. Some say the stuff I talk about sounds like brainwashing. Well, sure, and I’m okay with that. You’re going to get brainwashed one way or the other. Religion, News stations, your friends, etc. If I’m going to be brainwashed I’d rather control the brainwashing. Get committed to the change you want to be, to what you want to do, have, give and be. It’s futile to try and stay the same.
What are you more committed to: where you are now or what you want to be?
6. Priorities aren’t in order
Not focused on health
How are you going to do or experience anything without your health?
YOU are your #1 priority.
Before kids, work, anything…YOU
I bet you put work before your relationships. I bet you put your kids before your dreams. I bet you get scared of seeming greedy or selfish. Here’s the deal, it does help you to help others.
You having more does not mean that everyone else has less. You can light your candle with my flame and my flame will remain just fine, and actually better off because of it.
You should be missing work to take care of you.
This isn’t referring to doctors visits. Those aren’t healthcare they are sick care. Dr’s and medicine are for sick people. I’m in health care. My clients are on the front lines of health care.
You should be missing certain things with your kids to attend to some of your dreams, wishes and desires. Your kids don’t want to be the source you use to avoid the pursuit of what you want in this life. How would you like it to find out that your mother always wanted to write a book but didn’t because….well, she couldn’t find the time between taking you to baseball practice, school, piano lessons and making dinner. I would hate this if my mom pulled that back then and now and I’d have gladly sacrificed a season of any of those. Or gladly have not seen her in the stands. Or gladly have ridden my bike, walked, or rode with another family.
See what I mean? Get your priorities where you want your life to be with what you want to have, give and do.
7. Spending more time doesn’t improve quality or increase value
Decisions…make them and figure it out later. If you’re taking a multiple choice test, what are you supposed to do when you start second guessing? You’re more likely to have answered correctly the first time. Adding time to the decision doesn’t make it better, it makes it worse and it’s a waste. Write the book and release that sucker before it’s perfect. Use the next go as a ‘re-write’.
Make the decision now, not later. Do not add time to try and increase quality or value. Doing so only dampens the value and quality
Workouts don’t get better by adding time. “Oh did you go to the gym for 2hrs today?” Glad you’re proud of yourself for being a dipshit.
You can multiple time by covering more distance.
You can multiple time by going faster
I think you should do both
Get out of your own way and start succeeding at what you want in this life. There’s no scarcity, there’s nothing you can screw up, and if you do, well, learn from it, but do it full speed with all that you have to give.